Parenting Boys: What I Have Learned Raising Warriors

Parenting boys is a hoot and a half!  Busy, boisterous, even bloody sometimes.  But I wouldn’t trade one minute of the fun for ribbons and bows.

This first appeared on PaulaTisch.com September 28, 2017.
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I always thought I would have girls.  Both Big Jon and I only have sisters and we just assumed we would have sassy & ruffled baby girls.  Back in the day when Favorite First Born was born, we weren’t given the option to know the sex of our baby, and boy were we surprised!  (pun intended!)

I clearly remember the nurse laying him on my chest and I literally stared at his penis thinking, “Now what?  What am I supposed to do with that?”

And then 16 months later, it happened again.  And then again.  And then yet again…

 

I have now been raising warriors for almost 30 years and consider myself a bit of an expert on the topic.  You can check out here, here and even here for more warrior fun!

 

 

So today, I would like to share a few things – 5 to be exact – that I have learned over the last 30 years about parenting boys and raising warriors.

• Warriors all have a penis.
  I know.  This is pretty obvious, but there is more to it than that.  Right from the start, it’s all about their penis.  They must touch it, scratch it, protect it, readjust it, and check often to make sure it is still there. 
  Girls don’t really have anything like this that is comparable.  We are not obsessed with our breasts, our vajayjay, or even our left arms.  We don’t feel the need to draw pictures of our body parts or call others names of them.  It’s a mystery, but a truth.

 

• Warriors need to compete.
  Everything is a competition.  Who knows more about Ryan Braun’s batting average?  Who runs faster?  Who got a better grade on the science test?  Who ate more pizza?  Whose poop was longer (yes that really is a thing.)  Who had the worst case of chicken pox?  Who is stronger, cuter, wiser, etc.  Mamas – don’t engage in the competition.  You will be the only one who loses!

 

• Warriors must pee off of everything.
  As a woman, I really don’t get this one but I can assure you, it is true.  If you are on a cliff, you must pee.  If you have climbed a tower, you must pee.  If it snows, you must pee and probably write your name.  All I can say about this one is be sure to climb up with them or else get out of the way!

 

• Warrior life is physical.
  Sometimes boys are loud.  Sometimes they are obnoxious.  Sometimes they are sweet.  Always they are physical.  They run, jump, hit, hug, wrestle, and climb all the time.  Do not buy new furniture until they have left for college because they will abuse it.   It is not that warriors are intentionally naughty all the time, they just have more energy than imaginable.  Boys move.  A lot.

 

• Warriors love deeply.
  It may appear that boys and men are stoic and unfeeling but the truth is, they are solid and committed.  Before I had sons, I thought that it was women who feel things very deeply and that men do not.  I have learned, by watching a few of my warriors live through heartbreak, that this is simply not true.  When a warrior falls in love and gives you his heart, you have incredible power.  Be kind and use it wisely.   

 

When a warrior falls in love and gives you his heart, you have incredible power. Be kind and use it wisely. Click To Tweet

 

Parenting boys is such a great adventure – the greatest of my life!  My sons have taught me,  and continue to teach me every day, the most marvelous things.  Some interesting, some hilarious, some silly, and some life-changing. 

What an honor it is to be part of their lives!